Believe it or not, MC Hammer is launching a search engine. And actually, it sounds like he’s onto something interesting—deeper searches.
“It’s about relationships beyond just the keywords,” Hammer told the crowd at the Web 2.0 Summit in San Francisco the other day.
Hm. It’s an interesting notion. But I have two questions…
One: Will WIREDoo—the search engine—work or will it just complicate searches, spewing out random results and make us run back to Google. If it works, though, awesome. According to Hammer, it’s still in pre-beta, so we won’t find out for while, anyway, but I’m intrigued.
Two: Is Hammer really still going by “MC Hammer” on this one? What about his real name? Granted, Stanley Burrell doesn’t have quite the “cache” (George Costanza) that MC Hammer does, but come on, son, you’re an entrepreneur now.
Seriously, I can give you a bunch of reasons why he should go “legit” and rock his real name…
“Please Hammer, Don’t Search ‘Em” (MSNBC)
“U Can’t Find This?” (MSNBC)
“MC Hammer Launches Legit Search Engine” (CNET) (That’s not even accurate, seeing how the thing isn’t ready yet, but whatever.)
“Watch Out Google, It’s MC Hammer Time!” (E! Online) (They should have left the “MC” out, don’t you think?)
“Huh? MC Hammer Announces His New Search Engine” (Business Insider) (They didn’t even feign respect, just “Huh?”)
“MC Hammer’s Next Hit: Search Technology” (Information Week) (This one left me flat.)
“All right, stop! Searchin’ Time” (Entertainment Weekly) (Eh.)
And probably my favorite (for its honesty)…
“Yes, MC Hammer Really is Launching a Search Engine” (QueryClick)
In case you haven’t seen, half the pictures going up with all those articles are of Hammer circa 1991 looking like an extra in the Pirates of the Caribbean or one of Ali Baba’s Forty Thieves.
I mean, come on. Everybody knows you gotta drop the handle when you go legit, dawg. Marky Mark = Mark Wahlberg. 50 Cent = Curtis Jackson. Mos Def = Yasiin. (Yasiin isn’t even Mos Def’s real name—Dante Terrell Smith—so he’ll be twice removed from Mos Def when he changes his name later this year, which is the plan.)
The point is, Bill Gates isn’t running around telling dudes to call him the Godfather or Truth or BG Money (pronounced ‘big money’).
Anyway, you get it. If you’re gonna go legit, then go legit…Stanley.
