Those unsettling feelings I was having weren’t gonna lessen over the course of the week. (“No! I don’t like camp! All the other kids are dumb and stupid. I just wanna go hoooooome…And my belly hurts. [Almost forgot the incontinence excuse.])
In fact, the ride to the airport and flight (especially the connector) was gonna be even more anxiety-inducing. I’d be holding my breath the whole time. If something went wrong, an experiment would seem like a poor excuse for not having a phone.
I don’t know what it says about me—that I crumpled like a balsa-wood model airplane hitting the pavement from a hard nose dive. I’m a chill dude when it comes to this stuff, anyone can tell you. I try to keep a big perspective in life (you know, the universe, existence and whatnot). I don’t get rattled by life’s obstacles.
Yet I was rattling like the bell on a shaky Chihuahua’s collar. Not gonna lie—it wasn’t my best work.
I do have a shiny new iPhone 4S to console myself with. “What a sack I am. Ooh! What’s Face Time?”
(If you’ve read any of my posts about the nightmare experience I’ve had with Android and a Samsung Galaxy S over the last two years, you know a new phone is kind of a big deal. It actually works!)
And the other thing—no more anxiety. Poof! Gone (?) like Donkey Kong as soon as I got the iPhone. In fact, my knee isn’t bouncing at all today as I write this. It was going like a “jackrabbit on a date” yesterday.
Yeah, I’m not gonna lose any sleep, I guess. What I should have done was activate a pre-paid phone just for emergencies. But I wanted to go all the way (well, not Walden Pond exactly, but…) to see what life without a phone is like.
1980. That’s what life without a mobile phone is like. 19-friggin’-80.
And last time I checked, I did 1980 already…in 1980. I remember the phones on the kitchen walls, the information line, the phone book and…(gasp)…asking directions at a gas station. (“The horror…the horror.”)
And of course the puffy shirts (“I don’t want to be a pirate.”). And the Flock of Seagulls bangs. And short shorts. And the Denim Suit with white high-tops. Yeah, I did 1980 already. I don’t need to do it again.